24/365-So Mad

I’m so very mad today.

You know it’s a bad day when you feel it so deeply that you can articulate it, taste it, try to harness it, and hate it. I’m mad. I want to break something. I want to go on my back porch and hurl obscenities at the sky. And, then, I want to collapse into a puddle of nothingness to heal from this assault on my soul. I want to be rid of it. Done. Cleansed. Ready to face another day, but it keeps hanging on.

Begone!

So, maybe the first step is to address WHY I am mad.

I am mad because my knees hurt. I’m mad because I can’t run. I’m mad because I have gained weight since I hurt my knees. I’m mad that I don’t feel confident because of that. I’m mad that Target refuses to call me back. I’m mad that I need an MRI to see inside my knees. I’m mad because I have no control. I’m mad that I’m getting old.

I’m mad because I’ve allowed too many things to gather on my plate. I’m mad that I say yes too often because I want people to have confidence in me because I sometimes don’t have confidence in myself. I’m mad because I lost my iPhone, but then I found it again. I’m mad that my computer is churning at high speeds, and I have no idea why. It’s so frieking hot!  I’m mad because I let myself be mad…which I shouldn’t do. There’s no reason to be mad!

There’s too little time in this life to waste it on simply
being mad…

Hopefully, in the morning
I won’t be
so
mad…

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