When she was in kindergarten, she was deeply in love with Sam (according to her mom). In fact, she loved him so much, she chased him around the playground one day and scratched him up with her nails. She has some vague recollection of being traumatized by a principal, but really can’t recall the details. When she was in 4th grade, she remembers Paul asking her to go steady with him. She went through the day all aglow, only to have him break up with her in 6th period or something. He said he did it because she was constantly mooning over him and maybe then she’d knock it off. She got the message and didn’t bother again. There was Jim who owned a ’65 Mustang and played football when she was a freshman who endlessly engaged in sarcastic conversation with her. He ended up dating a cheerleader. And there was Jason, who owned a ’66 Mustang who she tutored in chemistry just so he would come over to her house. He would torment her by running his tongue along her wrists as she wrote equations, but he ended up marrying his high school sweetheart and they are still married even today.
Her life is riddled with random crushes and infatuations on boys/men who she never had the hope of ever getting. Perhaps it was those summers spent with her mom watching daily soap operas. Or maybe it was the Harlequin romance novels she could devour in an hour. What if it was all the old Doris Day and Gidget movies where the girl always got the guy in the end? There’s something to be said for the elusive, intelligent male with the sardonic wit, sly smile, and shady eyelashes. Yeah. You know…the ones she can never but always hopes to have.
And even though she knows it, it never fails…her heart wraps its tendrils around that one elusive soul in the hopes that this time, he will find that something in her that she finds in him and the world will suddenly be right. But it’s not. And it never will be. Instead, one will pull up his roots and leave her standing there, watching him go. And her heart will break of sadness because what will fill that hole of empty hopes (strewn with broken limbs and tattered leaves) was never even meant to be…ever.